My Life as a Lifespring Trainer (Part IV)

The training department was in almost constant flux, moving people in and out. We went from Bettie Spruill as the director of training to Jim Cook and finally to Terry Nelson. Along the way Jim Cook went to work for Robert White in the Orient and then came back for a time before starting his own Asian operation. Bettie moved on to focus on corporate consulting and training. Terry stayed until the end. He continues to lead the Basic for a few of the Lifespring spin-off companies in the US.

In my opinion, Terry is the best overall trainer working today. He is a consummate professional who combines a strong presence with clarity, compassion, and fun. Terry prepares more for each training than any other trainer I know. He diligently writes up his whole introductory two-hour talk the night before he begins every training. It has to be going on two hundred plus times he’s done this. It’s no surprise he consistently achieves excellent upgrade results. He would definitely be one of the more sought after trainers but he prefers to stay home these days.

I like to be prepared but I go about it in a different way. I look at my reading as a kind of training preparation. I like to read a lot of interesting philosophy, history, and literature. It’s not so much the content of the books that grounds me for the training, although sometimes I’ll definitely steal a nugget or two. For me the important thing is a kind of dance I do with the writer. If it’s a good book, we have a wonderful conversation together. Sometimes he or she educates me on a point of fact. Other times I’ll be more critical and questioning whether the writer really does have it right or maybe is missing some crucial element. This process trains my mind for the give and take of the conversation between the audience and me during a course.

During the training itself, I enjoy taking chances, powering home a point or going with the train of thought someone else in the room wants to start. There’s an exciting improvisational aspect to the process I enjoy greatly. There’s not much that’s more thrilling and ultimately gratifying than getting in sync with the folks and continue deepening the point to a crescendo of insight and, if we’re lucky, mutual glee.

One last thing on Terry. He is the proud owner of one of my favorite metaphorical trainer anecdotes. As the story goes, some years ago Terry was on a ski vacation in Tahoe with his family. He’d been a good skier for a while, but he wanted to improve his skills and learn how to downhill ski like the big boys. He went ahead and hired an instructor to go with him up the lift to the steepest run in the resort. Upon exiting the lift and maneuvering their way to the edge of the mountain, Terry was ready for his first lesson. He stood there anxiously gazing down on a sheer steep drop wondering what he had got himself into. Fortunately he had the wisdom of his expert instructor alongside to give him the magic boxful of tips.

Finally the instructor spoke up.

“So you wanna learn how to downhill ski, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. You wanna know the secret to downhill skiing?”

“Yeah.”

“All right, here it is: You gotta wanna go downhill!”

With that the instructor jumped off the rise and raced down the hill.

Terry followed, keeping in mind the secret. Sure enough it worked.

I keep that morsel of wisdom in mind whenever I embark upon a possibly perilous task. If I want the project to work out, I better want to do it. Seems elemental but I find it quite easy to forget.

Although it didn’t pay especially well, the trainer job with Lifespring was an attractive one, all things considered. For one thing, it was steady work. You received your schedule for the quarter and you were all set. The corporate training business always loomed as a potential grass is greener proposition. Many a Lifespring trainer has gone on to the corporate side.

By the time I made the move in ’97, I didn’t find it so easy. In ’97 I moved from full-time trainer to working for Lifespring on a contract basis. During my time off I looked for a compatible corporate training gig. I finally landed one near the end of the year. I began 1998 working for a Palo Alto-based consulting company. I worked there for a year before going back to contract trainer status. It was a great learning opportunity. I met some great people I still remain in contact with.

The tough piece was moving from the semi-glamorous training only job, to sometimes leading a training, and working at the office the rest of the time. Working nine to six or seven didn’t suit me well. Moreover, I had a hard time initially matching up with what the corporate audiences expected. I didn’t have the same permission to coach as we had in Lifespring. And I wasn’t actually that excited by what I taught. Going from a transformational breakthrough focus to teaching communication skills was a big step down as far as I was concerned.

I’ve since learned how to merge the two worlds. I love nothing more than using whatever subtlety and nuance is required to bring the world of transformation to the world of modern business.

As things stand now in 2010, trainers are largely on their own. We’re all independent contractors now, hired guns by the various independent entities using the trainings as their primary business service. There’re a couple handfuls of us at most in the US and many more in Mexico, China, and Russia. The centers in the US usually have well trained facilitators. Each center has their favorites they’ve grown accustomed to. I’ve worked with most of them at one time or another. I go in and out of the favorites lists.

When you move out of the US, apart from Cook’s operation, things get quite wild and wooly with trainers being self taught or haphazardly trained by low tier trainers who couldn’t cut it in Lifespring. All in all I’m grateful to do the work I do.

There are times I question myself and the training. I look at my own life and my personal travails and wonder what I’m doing standing up there coaching others about their life. Other times I think I'm doing quite well and feel very confident. If I get too down on myself, I think about football coaches like Bill Parcells or Buddy Ryan who were terribly out of shape old men, but had no shame in exhorting their teams to be in tiptop shape. You don’t have to be the perfect model of what you teach. In fact, being cognizant of my own doubts and insecurities might help me as a trainer to more easily relate with what the students go through. Anyway, I'm not trying to set myself up as some guru or hero. I don't go for that approach. I just enjoy seeing the light go on for people. I'm happy to be a part of it.

When I question the validity of the courses themselves, I only need to remember the many folks I meet on the road or by email who go out of their way to tell me what a profound difference the trainings made for them in their life. When someone sits there telling you they never would have reconciled with their parents or had the confidence to start their own business without the personal work they did with me or some other trainer in a workshop, it tends to wipe away most of your doubt.

There they are, right in front of me telling me what I’m doing has had a direct impact on their lives. Who can deny that? Not me. It’s a privilege to play a role in so much positive forward movement. What’s more is the fact that I end up getting as much out of leading the training as those with whom I’m working. Leading the training reminds me of the way I want to live my life. Even though I continue to forget the lessons and make plenty of mistakes, the training is always there for me to help get me back on track.